not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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