drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
