why didn't you poke me back
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
