i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
