I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
