I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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