Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
