I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
