I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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