Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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