The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize