If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
