i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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