It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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