hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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