i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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