I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
