hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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