Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
