Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm always down for nudity.
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