I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
