you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
that may or may not have been my penis.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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