It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You're like the curious george of whores
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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