we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
