your thong is hanging out like whoa
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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