I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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