I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
