he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
