piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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