IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will be naked everywhere
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
