i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
