I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
