Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize