just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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