i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
