So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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