She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
