dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
