the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
