Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
