I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
