If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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