i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
