And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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