you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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