Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
