wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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