so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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