Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
