please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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