My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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