Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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