It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
