In the future we'll all be gay
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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