I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
