I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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