He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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