i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
And then he peed in my hair
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