I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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