Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
