Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
jump out the window naked night went bad
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