Nicole vs. Life
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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